fidus amor

“Art must be an expression of love or it is nothing.”
— Marc Chagall​​

style

Designing and curating a spring collection created a new work method. It was refreshing to have a process that felt decisive and disciplined. Utilizing the new Adobe Creative Cloud was a big part of this when I upgraded in February because my Photoshop version would not do what I wanted. I am fluent in Photoshop but have room to grow in learning Illustrator. A specific need for a program to function a certain way is an ideal motivator. The frustration of trying to create patterns using math was not it, and the ease of Pattern Preview was a game changer. 

Most paintings I've done in the past few years have been on a smaller scale because they tend to sell faster. This was my year to move away from creating work from a mindset of How much money will this make? Is it worth my time? When a painting begins that way for me personally, it shows. When I started my studio as a business almost eight years ago, I needed to learn how to make money and soften my interwoven emotions with creating art. The 2023 goal was to create a method to produce quality and meaningful artwork with potential to increase revenue spans + reach through licensing opportunities. 

My sketchbook from a trip to DC was a training exercise for how I wanted to maximize the Visual Journaling retreat in France in 2022. I found some delicious Strathmore watercolor sketchbooks that made me want to keep a consistent style and color palette. I would begin a sketch on-site, like the one of my kids sitting at a table in the Pavilion Cafe in the National Gallery of Art's Sculpture Garden, and take a panoramic photo to fill details in later to maximize the paper’s landscape format. I developed a frequently used color palette with HIMI and MIYA jelly gouache with fluorescent paints. 

inspiration

The biggest inspiration for a limited palette and line quality was researching the work of background animators from Looney Tunes (Warner Brothers) cartoons from the 1950s, like Maurice Noble, Ernie Nordli, Chuck Jones, and Irv Wyner. I found an animation background archive site and went down the rabbit hole. I promise that is not a pun about Bugs Bunny.

art history remix through reference imagery

The Afternoon Meal (La Merienda), oil on canvas, by Luis Meléndez (Spanish, Naples 1716–1780 Madrid), ca. 1772

Hearing and Sight (Pair), Chelsea Porcelain Manufactory (British, 1745–1784, Red Anchor Period, ca. 1753–58), Modeled by Joseph Willems (Flemish, 1716–1766), ca. 1755, Soft-paste porcelain with enamel decoration and gilding

The reference imagery was remixed into a digital collage of the two porcelain figures placed into a setting from The Afternoon Meal, by Luis Meléndez (from the same period). The simplified patterns on the porcelain and flowers were  ideal elements to develop into a surface pattern. The stage was set, and I dialed into painting on the easel. Returning to painting on a larger scale felt so good, with curiosity and inspiration at the helm. This process and method of working united previous techniques and styles that operated like satellites for me. It combined my love for antique malls, decorative arts, painting on a larger scale, line work, and a high-voltage color palette.

During this time, I was not sharing any of this on Instagram, but would with anyone I spoke to in person. Although I felt certain with where I was going with this, it felt like an intrusion to divide my attention by “capturing content”. Maybe it is a resistance to always feeling under surveillance or how authentic this felt, I did not want to record while pretending I wasn’t. Oh, hi, I didn’t see you there! For the first time, I wanted to see a process through fruition and let it develop before sharing what I thought about it in bites. That choice to treat it in this way was something I needed because artists experience a range of sensations during the creative process. Some days, problems arise, and you have to walk away and some flow and feel triumphant. 

production

fidus amor

I titled the painting Fidus Amor, Latin for true love, because I mindfully embraced radical self-acceptance. It is challenging to be an artist because it is an extension of yourself in a physical form subject to criticism. A positive mindset would suggest that an artist’s work is an extension of oneself that can reach other people and be celebrated. Fidus Amor results from a year dedicated to shadow work, slaying the dragons of self-doubt, and feeling firmly planted in this new direction. It is a process like a garden that needs tending, pruning, and consideration for the seasons. 

surface pattern

The first image below is from a lookbook with mock-ups to visualize. More details are to come for how you can purchase products.

Everything Old Is New Again

The main objective for the mentorship with Kristen Ley was to develop and complete a Spring collection. The portfolio review was to sort existing work into collections and suggest new ways to organize my files. A series that began in 2013 of Chinoiserie chic elements like Staffordshire dogs and porcelain dolls was the first collection to stand out. The approach would be to vectorize the original paintings and enhance design elements that could be developed into complementary patterns. 

Original Painting (L) - 2023 Refresh to adapt for surface pattern (R)

Original Painting (L) - 2023 Refresh to adapt for surface pattern (R)

objet d’art

Antiquing is a way of life for me. I love the Decorative Arts wing in museums. When I plan to visit a large museum, I always search for objet d’art (A fancy French term that means decorative, ornamental works of art and can be figurines, metalwork, engraved gems, tapestries, ceramic plates, textiles). This is a niche wing of art history that lights me up. The scope of decorative arts holds portrait miniatures, detailed finials, decoupage, and ornate cigarette cases–basically the stuff I seek at antique malls. Objects have tremendous power to unlock memories and turn people into collectors. 

The idea to revisit a series of artwork from 2013 ignited something within me, and I began a series of paintings with an extraordinary destiny. At the end of 2022, I searched for juried competitions, and the priority was to develop a series of paintings for the 27th Annual NO DEAD ARTISTS International Juried Exhibition of Contemporary Art at Jonathan Ferrara Gallery in New Orleans, LA. I wrote little notes to my future self in my 2023 planner. How are the paintings coming along? This is your year; you know you can do this! Then the countdown began: You have two months until submission. 

During winter break, I binged season two of White Lotus and loved the opening credits design elements. I did an illustration of the Italian Majolica decorative head about the legend of the Testa di Moro on my iPad while watching S2 again. I searched The Met Collection online for more Staffordshire pottery, which led to Majolica pottery, then European porcelain figurines from the 1700’s. It became a feast. 

And this is how the Fidus Amor series began.

Title: Hearing (one of a pair)

Factory: Chelsea Porcelain Manufactory (British, 1745–1784, Red Anchor Period, ca. 1753–58)
Modeler: Modeled by Joseph Willems (Flemish, 1716–1766)
Date: ca. 1755

Medium: Soft-paste porcelain with enamel decoration and gilding

2023: The year that answered

“You can’t really know where you’re going until you know where you have been.”
— Maya Angelou

new year, new possibilities

I recently saw a tweet that said, “January me wouldn’t believe the life I’ve lived this year.” After a year dedicated to healing and focusing my attention, I registered for Kristen Ley’s mentoring session to develop and curate a pattern collection in January 2023. Working as a sole creator for many years, it felt imperative to invest in my creative career to narrow my focus and utilize the accountability that came with the mentorship. Kristen is one of the most brilliant creatives I know and has a gift for problem-solving and solutions. It was also important as a friend that Kristen would have an understanding of my work over the past few years and be straightforward. I was ready to advance, utilize new methods, and strategies. The healing work helped me see how long I had operated from a wounded source. 

Groundwork

Painting is a changing process that is rooted in trial and error. I am maximizing the right brain when I am in a flow state. The left brain is necessary for correction during the process. Still, letting it become a critic instead of the editor is so easy. The critic will start feeding self-doubt that sabotages the joy that inspired the beginning. The editor knows to walk away to come back with fresh eyes, adjust colors, and let you know when a painting has come to completion. We have to be careful about the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. A narrative is powerful with the ability to be soul-crushing or life-giving. 

When I shifted my focus to building a new body of work, it felt like something that needed care and protection. Creating an environment to channel intrinsic motivation was part of this plan, and this prep work revealed I needed a break from Instagram. The mounting frustration with the influx of ads from user-generated content and the difficulty of the algorithm allowing your posts to be seen made me realize I needed to change how I operate. This signaled that the app will likely roll out subscription-based options by causing an extended period of frustration to increase the appeal of a premium option with more control and fewer ads. 

“I’ve noticed that when I’m facing a difficult decision, I often start polling people. That polling habit has become my indicator light that I need less input and more silence and stillness so I can hear myself. Of course I seek counsel from a few people in my life, but when I can’t connect with what I’m thinking or feeling - that’s when I get into dangerous default territory (either standing too far back and not deciding, or letting others decide for me).”
— Brené Brown

The most significant push for me to take an extended break was realizing how much energy I put into valuing engagement, likes, and feedback analytics over the past 7 years. Social media has a lot of pitfalls. Comparison traps when you see someone else doing something similar or perceived as better, leading you to immediately scrap it. Working on something and not sharing about it became a thrill after oversharing out of habit. Polling reactions/opinions and being chronically online was replaced with direct contact through texts to friends and family. It was apparent early on that this new shift was meaningful. Someone my age has seen technology rapidly change. It feels uneasy to even be on any platform over a decade. 

Prepwork

The prep work began in January, with the mentoring session scheduled to start on February 1. The first task was to create a scope of work by saving images to Dropbox. This initially felt daunting, and Kristen suggested automating screenshots to streamline the process. My mindset at the time was how scattered my work felt. It was a combination of operating in perpetual motion and object permanence from concepts, sketches, and paintings tucked away for years. Common threads and patterns appeared. It felt like having a personal retrospective, and I was proud of how much work I have done through the years. To go from “Oh, I’m an artist that does a little bit of everything, kind of all over the place” to this pride knowing I’ve had a spontaneous career path led by humor, bold color palettes, a love for antiques, tchotchkes, and pop culture. 

Kristen requested a portfolio review to sort existing work into collections and suggested new ways to organize my files. I have continuously operated within a theme or group in my career but felt a need to move on if it needed to be better received or if I lost interest. Surface pattern design has always been something I wanted to learn more about, and the process was a lightbulb moment. By taking an existing painting, I could define a hero image and assign supporting design elements into patterns, multiplying its potential. 

Action Plan

With proximity to Spring, I decided to develop a pattern collection under the guidance of Kristen. It felt like a design boot camp that provided the structure and accountability I sought. She created a timeline with checkpoints and deadlines to have product samples in my hands before launching a collection on my website and social media. 

Run Rabbit Run

The project supported by the mentorship was to create a Spring Collection. If you know me, you know I am a Christmas girlie, and maybe I spend my allowance for holiday cheer all in one place. I enjoy many things about Spring and Easter, but we don’t usually decorate the house. I brainstormed about themes, and the bunny rabbit was at the top.

During moments of grief, I’ve encountered Messengers of Hope. Butterflies and moths are the most common. I don’t mean I see one through a window. It will be an interaction that’s impossible to ignore. Like when a dragonfly interacted with me on my way to the car. It flew in, landed on the dash, and hitched a ride. On the 20-year mark of my Mom’s passing, I encountered a wild French Hare as dusk began to reveal the Strawberry Supermoon in the sky. Because I tend to look for magic, I find it in symbolic meaning.

Sprigs of French lavender, the butterfly, and the symbolism of the hare infused a connection with the process that didn’t surface in my earliest attempts. The goal became creating a full illustration, extracting supporting design elements, and remaining within a limited color palette.

Run Rabbit Run

From here, my ideas began multiplying like rabbits. It has always been a dream of mine to see my work on products like textiles, wallpaper, and linens. I tested out a few print on demands options, but would ultimately love to move into licensing my illustration and working with agencies. If you know someone, give me a shout!

2022: The Year That Asked Questions

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
— Zora Neale Hurston

As our routine began to change and offer more consistency rolling into 2022, I realized the pre-covid workflow and pace was no longer a model that would serve me. The time away that forced me to slow down made me see I did not have the same goals or needs as an artist. I kept asking myself, “What do you want?” 

My studio bookcases are filled with sketchbooks that chronicle the past twenty years. Sketchbooks are a safe place to be messy, to plant seeds for future dream projects, and to document life through observation. Over time, it tells a story about our identity, connection to others, purpose, and curiosities. We feel nostalgia for our former surroundings even though they were mundane. 

I began to spend a portion of my daily journaling doing time hop exercises. How old was I five years ago? What were my goals and biggest triumphs then? The further back I went, the more it helped me to resurface the most consistent desires I’ve always had as an artist and this shift in viewing my efforts as an artist through a legacy mindset. By routinely slogging through daily scribbles and daily gratitudes, I began to wonder what it would be like if I spent the next five years imagining that my life could be the most magical and dynamic period for my career beyond my wildest dreams. 

I took the most significant leap of faith when I signed up for a Visual Journaling retreat in the South of France in June. A few minutes after registration, it dawned on me that I would be in France on the 20-year mark of my Mom’s passing. Coping with grief through art sent me on an incredible journey. I spent the first year mark on my grief journey in Biarritz, France. Year five in Paris, followed by an extended stay. Those transitional and youthful years were spent taking giant leaps. Resilience is coping with changing events, situations, and identity. It’s adaptability and practicing radical self-acceptance. 

My trip began by spending a few days with my family in The Netherlands before catching a flight to Toulouse. The retreat with Rebecca Green and Meera Lee Patel was hosted by Uptrek. We stayed at Residence La Salamandre in Rabastens, France, nestled between endless rolling hills. We spent most of our time at the Residence La Salamandre. The days were hot and sunny, with the appearance of the strawberry supermoon mid-week. Daily meals were shared over a long table, and three regional Gaillac wines were offered at dinner. 

Rebecca and Meera offered challenging and creative lessons each day, demonstrating gouache for a picture book-style illustration inspired by the day’s sketchbook trip. We took sketchbook day trips to nearby Rabastens, Albi, and Lisle-sur-Tarn. Albi was our biggest adventure of the week. We toured Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile d’Albi, did some sightseeing on a Tarn River boat tour, enjoyed a three-course lunch, and visited the Toulouse Lautrec museum and gardens. I think we will never forget the riverboat captain. Near the end of the week, they held a one-on-one critique and shared industry advice from the illustration world. I’m grateful to know all of the fantastic women who took the same leap and will carry this experience in my heart for a lifetime.

I created a digital collage of the photos I took from the retreat highlighting the studio sessions and trips to Rabastens, Albi, and Lisle-sur-Tarn.

I filled up sketchbooks from my trip to see family in The Netherlands and the retreat in France. It felt incredible to travel and document an experience to carry with me. Unfortunately, I was also carrying the strongest strain of Covid at the time as a souvenir. It was my first time to have it and it felt awful to infect my family upon my return. We isolated for the recommended time and when I felt well enough I began working on studies for paintings from my sketches.

When a Midlife Crisis Collides with a Global Pandemic

When time stood still during spring break of 2020, I didn’t know then that I would spend the next year at home with my kids as their virtual school facilitator. It was a constrained choice that I will never regret the privilege of being able to make for their well-being, but it took a toll on my mental health. I don’t know anyone who made it through that period unscathed. 

The real connection we long for is the connection with ourselves; the connection with where we are here and now…When the connection with our own presence is broken everything just starts to feel empty.

—Jeff Foster

The first day of school began remotely in our playroom on August 17, 2020.

The school district kept extending the return to in-person learning and had a feeling it would be for the entire semester. Virtual learning resumed after the holidays on January 5, 2021, with in-person learning scheduled to resume on January 19. 

2021

Winter

The Winter of Discontent

The view from the studio upon my grand return wasn’t too promising, but I remained grateful. It was the coldest winter I could remember in Mississippi.

I turned 40 on February 9, and we had a catastrophic ice storm on Valentine's Day that kept us indoors for five full days. Even though we were used to being at home, the break from having to manage virtual school rekindled the desire to draw and document such a rare event. The Deep South has memorable snow days, but I couldn't recall ever seeing the roads socked out or being stuck indoors for five days.

In a city with an ongoing water crisis, I knew we couldn't escape a thaw without water woes. The district announced a partial return for some schools on March 1, but we remained virtual until one week after Spring Break. 

We took our first post-covid trip to Bentonville, AR, with friends to see the North Forest Lights at Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, for Spring Break.

I visited Crystal Bridges by myself and experienced a flood of emotions.

Art museums feel like a sanctuary. After an extended period of isolation, it almost felt like my first time walking into The Met as a teen. I recalled memorable museum visits and the past versions of myself. I felt like a failure. My self-worth was tied to productivity as a metric, and if given the chance to start fresh at that moment, I had no clue what I wanted. I knew I wanted change but was unable to articulate why or how.

I knew I was processing a lot of trauma in this moment and reeled over the trauma I overcame after losing my Mom to suicide when I was 21. It was the defining moment that formed me into the artist I am today and placed me on a journey that made me so resilient. I assumed the elasticity would help me through this, but in March of 2021, I felt trapped under a wet blanket. My identity went through some shape-shifting during motherhood, but this felt gargantuan. Was this a midlife crisis? Was it surviving a global pandemic? Both?

Signs of a Midlife Crisis in Women

Depression, reflection on deep questions or preoccupations with existential concerns, sleep problems, weight changes, feeling apathetic, numb, or generally ‘blah’ about things in life, sense of loss, desiring significant change, extreme feelings of overwhelm, emotional volatility, pervasive feelings of unfulfillment or emptiness, nostalgia for the past, feeling trapped in your life…..

Spring

I started filling pages in a watercolor sketchbook daily. Most of it was observing our neighborhood blossom. Painting in my sketchbook was purely to explore and collect inspiration. The past few years were primarily focused on portrait commissions to provide reliable income, and it was rewarding to not struggle financially as a career artist. I realized how much emphasis I put into marketing myself as a creative business owner. It was reassuring to trust my instinct to know that the operating mode no longer served me and that I was starting a new chapter.

Summer

The extended period of isolation made me grateful to return to normal activities with friends. We joined our community pool and felt a sense of ease this summer. It reminded me of my childhood, spending every day at the YMCA pool, and inspired me to create a series of watercolors.

The Summer of 2021 was when I decided to start dreaming about what I wanted to do next.

Recalibrate.

Reconnection

In July, I signed the kids up for a week long art camp in Ocean Springs, MS. We coordinated plans with friends that week and I spent the time while they were in art camp to recharge and rest. I started to feel a desire to reconnect with past versions of myself, to symbolically retrace steps and reach out to say, “You’re going to be okay, and you are going to meet some incredible people who will change your life forever.” To heal.

This is where my journey as an artist began.

I transferred to William Carey College on the Coast a few weeks after my Mom passed. I could see the water every day on my way to class and began to find magic. I graduated with a BFA in 2004 one year before Hurricane Katrina made landfall and changed the entire landscape of this area of the MS Gulf Coast. It is surreal to have memories of a place that profoundly changed me no longer resemble itself.

A few days after we returned home, I registered for a Visual Journaling retreat in the South of France in the summer of 2022. I took a leap of faith and decided to get specific on how I would spend the next year defining my goals and envisioning the best possible outcomes for my career path.

I knew that my path forward as an artist needed careful introspection and consideration.

It meant redefining how I view success, where I dedicate my attention, and adapting to a more mindful approach from a legacy perspective.

Announcement: Ginger Williams Cook Receives Individual Artist Mini-grant from the Mississippi Arts Commission

I am pleased to receive an Artist Mini-grant award from the Mississippi Arts Commission. The Individual Artist Mini-grant is a reimbursement grant that supports established and emerging professional artists based in Mississippi. It provides funds to assist them with professional development or can be used to purchase expendable art supplies. The new art materials I buy with the mini-grant will go towards a new series of paintings connected to the sketchbook work I created during a Visual Journaling retreat in the South of France in June of 2022.

The Mississippi Arts Commission is a state agency serving more than two million people through grants and special initiatives that enhance communities, assist artists and arts organizations, promote arts education, and celebrate Mississippi’s cultural heritage. MAC is funded by the Mississippi Legislature, the National Endowment for the Arts, the Mississippi Endowment for the Arts at the Community Foundation for Mississippi, and other private sources.

I would like to send a big thank you to MAC for supporting and funding the arts.