“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”
As our routine began to change and offer more consistency rolling into 2022, I realized the pre-covid workflow and pace was no longer a model that would serve me. The time away that forced me to slow down made me see I did not have the same goals or needs as an artist. I kept asking myself, “What do you want?”
My studio bookcases are filled with sketchbooks that chronicle the past twenty years. Sketchbooks are a safe place to be messy, to plant seeds for future dream projects, and to document life through observation. Over time, it tells a story about our identity, connection to others, purpose, and curiosities. We feel nostalgia for our former surroundings even though they were mundane.
I began to spend a portion of my daily journaling doing time hop exercises. How old was I five years ago? What were my goals and biggest triumphs then? The further back I went, the more it helped me to resurface the most consistent desires I’ve always had as an artist and this shift in viewing my efforts as an artist through a legacy mindset. By routinely slogging through daily scribbles and daily gratitudes, I began to wonder what it would be like if I spent the next five years imagining that my life could be the most magical and dynamic period for my career beyond my wildest dreams.
I took the most significant leap of faith when I signed up for a Visual Journaling retreat in the South of France in June. A few minutes after registration, it dawned on me that I would be in France on the 20-year mark of my Mom’s passing. Coping with grief through art sent me on an incredible journey. I spent the first year mark on my grief journey in Biarritz, France. Year five in Paris, followed by an extended stay. Those transitional and youthful years were spent taking giant leaps. Resilience is coping with changing events, situations, and identity. It’s adaptability and practicing radical self-acceptance.
My trip began by spending a few days with my family in The Netherlands before catching a flight to Toulouse. The retreat with Rebecca Green and Meera Lee Patel was hosted by Uptrek. We stayed at Residence La Salamandre in Rabastens, France, nestled between endless rolling hills. We spent most of our time at the Residence La Salamandre. The days were hot and sunny, with the appearance of the strawberry supermoon mid-week. Daily meals were shared over a long table, and three regional Gaillac wines were offered at dinner.
Rebecca and Meera offered challenging and creative lessons each day, demonstrating gouache for a picture book-style illustration inspired by the day’s sketchbook trip. We took sketchbook day trips to nearby Rabastens, Albi, and Lisle-sur-Tarn. Albi was our biggest adventure of the week. We toured Cathédrale Sainte-Cécile d’Albi, did some sightseeing on a Tarn River boat tour, enjoyed a three-course lunch, and visited the Toulouse Lautrec museum and gardens. I think we will never forget the riverboat captain. Near the end of the week, they held a one-on-one critique and shared industry advice from the illustration world. I’m grateful to know all of the fantastic women who took the same leap and will carry this experience in my heart for a lifetime.
I created a digital collage of the photos I took from the retreat highlighting the studio sessions and trips to Rabastens, Albi, and Lisle-sur-Tarn.
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I filled up sketchbooks from my trip to see family in The Netherlands and the retreat in France. It felt incredible to travel and document an experience to carry with me. Unfortunately, I was also carrying the strongest strain of Covid at the time as a souvenir. It was my first time to have it and it felt awful to infect my family upon my return. We isolated for the recommended time and when I felt well enough I began working on studies for paintings from my sketches.
