This has been a year of quiet reflection. I felt the pull to slow down and process how I was changed by the pandemic regarding the creative process and operating a small business. There are many layers to it, but overall it was the realization that my self-worth was tied up in productivity.
Staying home with my children during a semester of virtual school and the other semester splintered by a historic ice storm followed by a city-wide water crisis was full of challenges. It was a constrained choice I will never regret. To show up for them daily to facilitate predictability in tumultuous times is a privilege I will forever value. The intense stress, looming uncertainties, and fears disrupted my creative flow and led to feeling petrified. And it made me feel like I was starting over in some ways to prioritize my career as an artist through a lens of legacy over relevancy.
I wanted to dig deep to redefine my passions at this stage of life and bring awareness to where I spent (or wasted) my time. An emerging creative practice after a prolonged state of stress is a delicate thing worthy of protection. Reducing social media consumption (I primarily use Instagram) felt like the best step towards intentional creative practice. Taking responsibility for acknowledging how the misuse contributed to my anxiety and fragmented my time. The greatest truth emerged that I needed to gain control over how to practice a valuable communications tool.
I will never forget a piece of advice that Kristen Ley of Thimblepress gave me when I started my business, "Don't put all of your eggs in one social media basket." This advice encouraged me to prioritize operating a website to serve as a hub and viewing social media as a satellite. The importance kept repeating since I have seen technology and platforms become obsolete. I left Myspace pretty early, left Facebook in 2016, and now it feels like Instagram is on the chopping block.
Instagram became a social media haven for me after leaving Facebook. It was a quiet visual format and had a distinct thumbprint. It was a visual platform where I could organically expand an audience to attract some of the most incredible patrons. But since the Facebookification, it has become a place I no longer enjoy. I understand that a company needs to make changes to stay relevant, but the platform lost a critical component that pulled me in.
Instagram stories introduced a personal way to engage with people and break away from the curated feed. But Reels and the oversaturation of influencer marketing felt like a significant disruption. That form of marketing becomes ineffective when it floods the feed and drops commercials between stories. I understand that's capitalism at work, and I do not pay for the service with money, but the actual cost of it feels insidious. This is not a criticism of any influencer on whatever scale they operate, but more of a commentary on the saturation. There is a big difference between a sponsorship with local restaurants or boutiques and someone posting a video promoting Great Value ingredients from Walmart to make a pot of spaghetti and why it's best for your family.
It bears repeating that the decision to take a pause is to hold myself accountable and dedicate more energy to my website. And finally, stop saying that I really want to use the blog feature when I take the time to make several Instagram posts a month. It was mortifying to review screen time data and process how much valuable time to work, rest, or create was being squandered. Those small bites add up over time, and I felt pretty chewed up and disconnected.
Moving forward, I aim to define creative goals and chart a course independent of social media. That feels risky but also wise to eliminate distractions to get to the heart of what I genuinely want to do. Once I have done this work, I will find the best way to connect over social media.
